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misbahkyrene
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/15/1977
Gender: Female
Interests: When not training, I spend my time with my rabbits (Annie and Nick). My favorite websites are www.rabbit.org, www.pbrc.net and www.3rdwatch.net. I AM A THIRD WATCH junkie.
Expertise: My events are the 100m and 200m sprints. As of late, I don't know which of these will be my qualifier. We'll see.
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/24/2002
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| By this time tomorrow, I will have already ran my
race. Scary thought. That just means that I've got less
than 24 hrs before I have to calm my nerves. I can get it over
with in 13 seconds (hopefully faster but for the first meet, everything
usually goes wrong--you false start or you just freeze in the blocks
where the race is really won or lost). Oh well, I can do it. I
just hope I don't feel my heart all the way up in my throat.
*boomboom boomboom boomboom boomboomboomboom...*
and after that, you better believe I'll be heading STRAIGHT to Black
Angus or Outback Steakhouse. I'm gonna want a gooood steak.
Medium-rare and tender... and a baked tater and some veggies.
*yum*
Oh, I told Vic and my teammates that I'm staying here another 4
years. They're very glad. It's been suggested that we get
me some duct tape for the hot summers...y'know for over my mouth
to keep me from bitching about it. LOL.
Crap, Gotta register myself for the Cardinal Qualifier. Deadline is 5pm today. The meet is next Friday.
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| Turns out I am competing at the Golden Bear
Qualifier rather than the Bruce Drummond Invite. Truthfully I
wanted to do the latter. My friend Todd inquired about the meet
and when he asked where it was, he said Berkeley was much
closer. So I know he wants to come. But I'm
nervous as this is my first time competing in 5 years. I'm
finally ready but I'm not so sure I want Todd there watching me screw
up royally. Then again, I'd like having him there. My other
reason for wanting to run at Sacramento was that I would've had the
chance to meet Nicholas Sparks (my favorite author) again. I met him
two years ago but I'd love to again.
Oh well. Berkeley IS closer and though utterly nervous, I would love to have Todd there, cheering me on.
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| okay the Bruce Drummond Invite (Sacramento) is 6
days away and I am so nervous. My entry mark is a reasonable,
doable 13 flat. While that's not "turtle pace", it's not nearly
fast enough for the Trials. But that's still 3 months away. This
is my official return to competitive sprinting. I can hit 13 and
not feel too bad about it, as long as I DO at least run just to get
myself used to racing again. After all, won't get anywhere if I keep
letting myself be intimidated out of starting. But talk about nerves!
I made it to practice late since I finally fell asleep about two hours
before I was supposed to wake up! Vic didn't mind staying a
little longer to let me start and finish my workout later than everyone
else. Did I mention earlier that flying 20s were
easy? Theoretically yes but when you do ten of 'em back to back
with no rest in between, fatigue does set in a little. And by #
7, my knees were dropping and my shoulders were inching higher up
with every step while I slowed down about two feet away from where Vic
stood. Whoops. Note to self: GET MORE
SLEEP.
It's now almost 1pm. Last night my brother and I were supposed to spend
some time together, per my mother's request (since we are a family
divided). But all he wanted to do was his gaming
stuff. So I went to Target alone to buy some more socks. I
know it's really gross but I seem to have developed athlete's foot and
I know it's because I spend all day in supremely disgusting sweaty
socks. Figured I could stand to buy some more so that after
practice and before the gym, I could at least take my soggy ones off,
apply the a.f. Lamisil cream and then air out my feet
awhile before sliding on CLEAN, DRY socks. Anyway, I
digress. My bro called and apologized for not hanging out like he
said he would and told me he'd make it up to me today. We could have
breakfast. Stupid me, I should've known better
but I was pretty psyched for pancakes after practice. I haven't had any
in so long and since my brother is moving to Vancouver (transferring to
UBC), I thought I'd at least spend some time with him.
Well what is the log doing? I come home and there he is,
sleeping. He mumbles a 'sorry' and goes back to
sleep. Apparently, his friend dropped him off after a party
(which I suppose is better than drinking and driving AND being
exhausted to boot) and his car is at his friend's place.
And he's just going to sleep all day and then of course, when it IS
time to finally hang out with me, he'll..... oh hell, never mind.
I expect that of him.
Guess I'll just go to Country Sun and pick up a box of buckwheat flour
to make some pancakes myself. Buckwheat-sweet potato Pancakes and
hash browns. Yum.
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| What is with my shoulders hurtin' like a
bitch? They've been sore since Tuesday! Enough with the
soreness! I know I increased the weights some but not
enough for it to be hurtin' since then! Ran my 3 this
morning and the whole time these shoulders were throbbing. Ow!
Got practice tomorrow. *checked calendar* oh looks
like an EASY workout! 8 x flying 20s. I can't
wait til May. That's when we do the breakfast-regurgitating
bleacher workout. Just last year was the first time I got
over my anxiety about falling in between the bleachers.
What? They're steep way up at the top! The first 65 or so
were easy, as I learned. That wasn't true right away of course. The
very first time, I sort of gingerly skip-hopped, not sprinted, the
bleachers. but two weeks later, I was more confident. I sprinted up
very fast ( as these are timed) but the last few are dramatically steep
and very far apart and it just takes practice to not have to walk those
last few. That's where I lost time every week last year.
But I figure since I've started doing them twice a week to get my body
used to it, it won't be so bad once May comes around.
Ohhhhhhhhhh that's it! That's what's hurting my shoulders.
Not the weights. The bleacher workout! I did it on
Wednesday. By the end of 3 times sprinting up, I can
never tell what hurts more-- my legs which you can actually see
shaking or my shoulders which feel like they've been ripped right out
of their sockets and left on bleacher # 80.
Halter top season, here I come...
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| Jesus Christ, almost half the season has already
passed me by--okay, just a month, really!-- and I still haven't
competed yet.
At least after today's great practice, I feel like I'm finally ready. I
am entering the meet in Sacramento on the 24th. But you're
probably wondering what the hell's taken me so long.
I've got by far, the world's worst metabolism. Now I've got a
whole body of dense muscle but the last 30lbs won't come off!
This is a major issue for me because those last 30 are what's keeping
my muscles from showing up, completely defined and cut like they used
to be. No matter how hard I work, those last 30 won't come off.
And it's not because I eat when I'm stressed. because I don't eat at
all if something's driving me crazy. It's not because I eat the
wrong things -- I've sacrificed so many foods that I love for my
ultimate goal, the biggest one being New England clam chowder.
And it's certainly not that I eat too much. I keep a food log because I
have to, so I know what I'm eating and even Vic keeps telling me it's
not enough. I'm the freakin' picture of perfect
health on the inside but on the outside, all my hard work doesn't show
up. Worse than that, my skin feels 'squooshy' if I miss
even ONE day at the gym. How is that fucking possible?! For
the number of decline pushups I do, for the number of dip reps, for as
hard as I work my shoulders, I should freakin be able to SEE my
collarbones... but noooo! They're invisible! HOW IS THIS
POSSIBLE? Please God if you're out there, TELL ME!! And no
amount of proper-form weight training has made my body any harder
(and I use heavy weights. I curl 65s for instance; just to show
you that I'm not dillydallying at the gym.) Oh and worst of all,
where there was once (very recently!) a six-pac sculpted with years of
hard work. there is now a little bit of a Buddha belly that no amount
of crunches, twists and core-strength drills are
eliminating.. Let me just say, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Weight training kickstarts metabolism and because Vic changes it every
so often, my body never gets too used to something. Of
course when you have the shittiest metabolism in the world. None of
that matters.
This is a problem or at least a perceived problem. Donning a
speedsuit at this point is intimidating. Going up against
hardbodied sprinters that I was too before my stupidfucking
metabolism defeated me is daunting. The distorted
perception that I run like a water buffalo takes its toll, too.
"You don't look like a sprinter," I can hear them say. But
I know that is just insecurity talking. Of course they aren't
saying anything like that. It's always "nice job!" and always
sincere. Track athletes are among the nicest and most encouraging
in the world. Plus, no one is really paying attention
and it's kind of narcissistic of me to think they are. In the
blocks, you're too focused on one thing alone. So it shouldn't
bother me at all. But it does because NO ONE can give me an
explanation as to why this is even happening to
me. It actually makes me cry at night, every
night. Sometimes, given the hell I've already lived
through, I just lie there at night and wonder how much longer I have to
fight. I admit that sometimes I do get tired of fighting and
think it would be so much easier to just STOP everything. (ie hope to
God that He finds a way to end my life because I sure as hell won't
take my own). But then I tell myself, hell no! I don't want
to think like that. Don't choose to think like that. (Besides,
my bunnies keep me choosing life whenever I get too close to the
ledges]. But The Dream is the one thing that kept me alive
when I was little. It wasn't going to be easy; that much I knew.
But hell, this is beyond difficult. This is like an uphill
battle. And my pride and my desire for this just WON'T let me
give up.
Then I have a day like today where I run for the most part, very
fluidly and might I say, even gracefully (except that 110!) And
Vic assures me I do not look like a water buffalo when I sprint.
He gives me target times he fully believes I can hit, even though they
are very hard. Sure enough, I get very close. He's awesome.
I'm so grateful I found him. He believes in me. And though I have
my moments, I do believe in myself too. I wouldn't be busting my
ass this much if I didn't.
I just wish I didn't have to deal with this metabolism thing. I
take my Levoxyl every day like I'm supposed to. I eat right, I do all
the right things. When I do go to the Internal Medicine
folks, they are so glad to see the hard numbers. I'm one of the
healthiest patients they see, period. That's saying something,
right? I work so damn hard and I sometimes feel like I
can't see visible results. But everyone else is seeing
it! When I got sick in November/December and
January, the condition ballooned me to massive proportions. I was
bloated and HUGE! I'd gained 60 lbs in one
month! Well, since January, I lost 30. It
takes a normal, lucky person ( lucky that they don't have metabolic
issues) who works at my intensity and level only a month to lose
that amount. For me, it took 90 days! Well I have less than that
til the Trials and another 30 to shake off--the 30 that won't come
off. So I keep doing what I've been
doing. Run 3 miles a day in the early morning at dawn
to keep me centered. Do cardio at the gym too. (Because all that
sprinting is anaerobic and "Running makes you a better sprinter" as the
new Asics magazine ads say. No shit, Sherlock.
) Recently I've begun to get my body used
to running the bleachers again, once a week. That will really
chisel my legs, particularly my calves. We do them as a team
starting in May but I wanted to get myself used to it again because
those are some vomit-inducing workouts! Then there's
all the biking I do as my means of transportation. I could
go on and on.... Hopefully it'll all come
off soon.
How on earth do I get through this? Simple. I keep thinking
of Gail Devers. She's awesome and hands down, my favorite
sprinter. She too had thyroid problems yet she's a world
class sprinter. Go figure. If she can do it, so can I.
So can I.
Oh... quick note: Quit the javelin. Too much to learn
too soon. I'd just rather put all my energy into the 100.
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